We sacrifice our right to safety, respect, individuation, and the freedom to be ourselves, which essentially tells others that their needs are more important than ours and they can mistreat us to get what they want. Obviously, this isn’t the message that we want to send to our clients. We want to value ourselves enough to ask for what we need, to be treated with respect, and allowed to have our own feelings and ideas. And we need to set boundaries in order to do this.

We may be afraid to set boundaries because we don’t want to be seen as mean, difficult or selfish. Many of us were taught the importance of being agreeable, kind, and selfless. The message we heard as children was often that we had to be good or even perfect or our parents to love & want us. As a result, we feel like we have to make others happy. Becoming people-pleasers, we compromise our boundaries out of fear. We consistently put other people’s needs before our own.